News

What really happens

1
On the way to the hotel the taxi driver asks whether it’s a cello in the case. No sir, it’s a guitar. After a short silence he says “I don’t know anything about music, but I know what I like”. Fair enough, I say, and stare out of the window.

2
I arrive at the hotel. The remote control is full of buttons in bright colours. Eventually I figure out how to switch on the TV but not how to change channels. I’m stuck with a news broadcast in Serbo Croat. Or is it Bulgarian?

3
In the bathroom I’m trying to get the shower to work. Where’s the knob? I can’t find it. Maybe it’s in the other room. Surely not. I call this knob wars.

4
At the concert hall the manager tells me the acoustics are very good and you can hear everything at the back. He claps his hands loudly, looking pleased. I try a note or two. Dead as a dodo.

5
Some young chap in a hurry comes backstage just as I’m changing and asks, “you got any merchandise? CDs? T-shirts?”

6
After the show all the nearby restaurants are shutting except for the Taj Mahal Best Ever Curry Paradise. On the continent there are no restaurants open until you reach India. Instead, the hotel porter goes off for 20 minutes to reappear with a stale leftover sandwich and a warm can of beer.

7
It is a rule of life that the smaller the town the later you will be driven back to the rail station, with about 30 seconds to spare. I, as a stranger in town find this quite stressful. Don’t worry, they say, you’ll be fine. That, of course, makes me more nervous.

8
Arriving back in London I stand in line for a cab. It’s cold and raining. Eventually mine arrives. The driver looks me straight in the eye and says
“is that a guitar in the case?” Yes, it’s a classical guitar. I look out the window.
Then he says “My favourite piece is Castelnuovo-Tedesco’s guitar concerto no.1. Mind you, no.2 is good too.”

Wow! Suddenly I sit up straight, as when teacher walks into the classroom.

9
We arrive. The driver is still chatting away about his CD colIection. I end up giving him one of mine, while he charges me the full fare.

These are true stories, some occur frequently- all part of the rich tapestry of life.
Well, that’s it, folks.
Thank you for reading.
Carlos